June, July, September.

August kicked me in the butt. Hard. August was not fun. Before this year, I had no beef with August. Four of my favorite people in the world have birthdays in August. But this year, August has forever changed. In 25 minutes it will be September. And all I can do is hope that the bad stays in August.

My mom was admitted to the hospital yesterday. She's back home today, so don't worry. She'll be okay. She's been sick for about a week and she was dehydrated. But today, before I knew that she was going to be discharged, I was sitting at my desk at work and was faced with thoughts that I tried to run away from. I was telling myself that she was going to be okay because I had no indication of anything otherwise. But each time I would say it, I would remember walking in after visiting Lucky the first time and saying that he looked good. Not as bad as I thought. And that he'd be okay and he'd be coming home soon. So, as I got scared while sitting at my desk, I tried to push those thoughts away and put on a tough front. Thoughts of fear were replaced with cynical thoughts. Thoughts so morbid I won't even put them here. Not now. Not so close to all of this.

So, I wish you adieu August. I don't mean to be rude, but I hope you don't mind my saying that I hope we never meet again. Not like this. Just tip your hat and walk away next time.